Declutter your physical space

Decluttering isn’t just about tidying or organising your possessions, but it’s a good place to start. We accumulate physical, mental and emotional clutter as we go through life, but too much of this can stop us from moving forward. By clearing our space, physically and emotionally, we make room for what’s really important for us as well as improving our wellbeing by creating a healthier environment.

Let’s start with de-cluttering our physical space. If you feel like having a big clear out session that’s great, but if not you can still start with small steps. Here are some top tips:

Don’t choose what to throw away, choose what to keep –

Picking out the things you want to possess often feels easier than having to make a decision to get rid of something.

A drawer in a box –

If you have a cluttered kitchen cupboard or drawer, empty all of the contents into a large cardboard box. If you need to use any item from the box, after using and cleaning it, return it to the drawer or cupboard. Set yourself a timeframe that feels right for you, and at the end of that time anything still in the box gets donated, recycled or thrown away. This is great way to help your kids part with toys they no longer play with too, and get into the habit of putting things away in their toybox or cupboard after use.

Donate and Dispose Boxes –

For two weeks place two large boxes or laundry baskets in an easily accessible place. Set yourself a challenge of noticing things you no longer need. You don’t have to set aside a decluttering day, the purpose of this is to make it easy to get clear things out as you notice them. Add them to the appropriate box and at the end of two weeks, take the boxes to charity or a recycling centre. If they’re full after just a week even better, get them emptied and start again.

The Rule of Five –

For five days, set aside five minutes and find five items to donate, five items to throw away, and five items to return to their correct place in the home, or to their owner. After five days you will have cleared at least 50 unwanted items from your home. If each family member takes part or you do this for five more days, just think of the space you’ll create.

Wardrobe space –

Two tips for wardrobes. The first takes a little longer, but if you turn all the hangers in your wardrobe backwards, each time you have worn something and return it to the wardrobe turn the hanger forwards again. After six months you’ll be able to see which clothes could be donated to charity or passed on to someone else. For a much quicker and more dramatic method, Maria Kondo recommends taking everything out of the wardrobe and only choosing the items you want to keep, those that bring you joy. Let go of everything else, donate it to a great charity so it can bring joy to someone new.

The bathroom cabinet –

Go through any toiletries and especially make up in your cabinets, look at the labels and you’ll see lots of them have a fairly short shelf-life once opened, especially eye make up. Declutter these ruthlessly, you don’t want all that bacteria getting on your skin and eyes. Check your medicine cabinet too, and return any expired medication to the pharmacy.

One room at a time –

If these little steps have got you in the decluttering mood, choose one room or zone at a time and go for a big declutter session. Before you start have four bags or boxes labelled Keep, Donate, Throw away, and Relocate. Clear everything into a sorting space then as you come to each item make a quick decision about which box it goes into then move onto the next item. Don’t overthink it, but if you get stuck ask yourself ‘If I saw this in a shop now, at full price, would I buy it? Would I use it?’ or use Maria Kondo’s technique of only keeping the things that serve a purpose or bring you joy.

Where will you start your decluttering? Do you have any great decluttering tips? I’d love to hear them. Next week we’ll be looking at decluttering your time, and freeing up some space in your head as well as in your day.

‘Clutter is not just the stuff on your floor – it’s anything that stands between you and the life you want to be living.’

Peter Walsh – Professional Organiser

See things from a different perspective

Have you noticed that when you go somewhere familiar but for a change you sit in a different seat, like working from someone else’s desk or sitting on the other side of your favourite restaurant, you notice things you hadn’t seen before?  This is the power of looking at things from a different perspective. ‘If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change,’ says Dr Wayne Dyer, and it’s true. Being able to view a situation objectively helps you to think more positively, not take things so personally, communicate with others in a more useful way, and have stronger relationships. So how can you do this?

Step outside of the picture

When we’re too close to a situation it becomes very hard to see things from a different perspective. If you’re trying to deal with a problem, or a difficult situation, or even having a conflict with someone – step outside of the picture. When you’re watching a movie or a TV show, you can see all the possibilities. You know what the lead characters should do to get out of a dilemma or what you want them to say to each other.  Become a viewer and you’ll immediately be able to see things from a different point of view and find solutions.

Get curious

If you’re having a difference of opinion with someone, or you’re taking comments they make personally – get curious. Ask yourself what else could this be about? What else is going on here? It might be that you have both misunderstood each other or the situation, or it could be that a person who seems annoyed with you is actually just frustrated with circumstances, and you happen to be the person there with them at the time. Try to step back and see the bigger picture of what’s going on outside of your immediate situation. You know those ariel photos of your home town, or the satellite images of the Earth from space? Doesn’t it look different? So ask yourself what else could be going on.

Don’t just see what’s wrong, see what’s right

We have a tendency to notice negatives more than positives, and this can lead into a negative mindset.  It’s okay to be aware of negatives, but start to look for the positives in any situation. Work on your mindset and you’ll think and feel more positive and motivated. You’ll also find it easier to deal with difficult situations when they occur, and get much more enjoyment from the good things that happen.

What could change for you if you change the way you look at it?

Simple tips that help you to have a positive mindset

Last week we looked at the benefits of a positive mindset, so you’ll know that it’s not just emotional benefits, but physical and social too. So now I want to share with you some simple tips to shift negativity and have a positive mindset.

Notice your thoughts

Start to pay attention to your thoughts, especially if you tend to overthink things. If you are running through all the possible negative outcomes of something in your head, then you’ll not only cause yourself stress or anxiety, but you could even affect the outcome by the way your thinking causes you to behave. Spot when this is happening and instead of running this dialogue, practice thinking of possible positive outcomes instead.

Pay attention to your language

What language do you use when you talk about yourself or events? Do you tend to focus on negatives in situations or conversations with people? Or use language like ‘things never work out’, ‘nothing ever goes right’, or even just saying things like ‘that’s typical’? We can get into habits of using this type of language without realising that subconsciously this can cause negatives feelings. Pay attention to your language and practice stopping yourself before an automatice response comes out of your mouth (or even just in your head). Choose something more positive to say or if you can’t think of anything positive to say, don’t say anything. Gradually, with practice, your language patterns will start to change and you’ll notice how much better it feels.

Gratitude

Expressing gratitude is actually an ancient practice that helps create a positive mindset. It takes no longer to appreciate something that it does to complain about something, so make this a daily practice. You could start by noticing 3 things you are grateful for each morning, and 3 more at the end of the day to help you go to bed in a positive mood. Far better than having all that negative stuff running though your head when you’re trying to sleep.

Get outside

I’m a nature lover so this had to be included, but one of the reasons I work with clients outside while we’re walking is because of the benefits we get from being out in the fresh air, experiencing the simplicity and calming effects of nature, and having space for clear thinking. Give yourself a break and get outside for a short walk or just sit somewhere peaceful and give yourself space to reflect.

Spend time with positive people

If you’ve heard the phrase ‘you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with’, then you’ll know that the company we keep can massively affect our mindset. Being around people who are in a negative frame of mind can draw you in to their way of thinking, and can drain your energy. One the other hand, people who are positive and uplifting leave you feeling inspired and motivated. Choose who you give your time to as much as you can, and enjoy the energy of positive people. As your outlook starts to become more positive you will naturally attract those kind of people into your life, and you’ll feel less affected by others negativity.

Enjoy practising, and see how different you feel after a few days. You can join my 7 Day Positive Thinking Challenge here, it’s only £1 per day and I’ll send you a video every day with your positive challenge and more great ways to shift your mindset.

If you missed the webinar ‘How to Have a Positive Mindset’, you can watch the video replay here https://youtu.be/zGoTYs2TEI0

Tired of feeling negative? Let’s look at the benefits of positive thinking.

If your thinking is often quite negative, this could eventually impact your wellbeing physically and emotional. It’s probably having an effect on how much you’re enjoying life too. Positive thinking isn’t just about trying to be happy all the time. It’s a mindset, a way of being. But what are the benefits of positive thinking?

Physical Benefits

• Improved overall health and wellbeing
• Increased energy
• Less likely to suffer cardiovascular problems
• Longer life span
• Stronger immune system

Emotional Benefits

• Reduced stress
• Increased motivation
• Stronger coping skills during difficult times
• Less risk of mental illness
• A happier outlook on life

Social and Lifestyle Benefits

• Stronger relationships
• Attracting positive people and experiences
• More job satisfaction and better work performance
• Enhanced creativity
• A positive relationship with yourself
• Enjoyment of life

If this hasn’t convinced you of the value of positive thinking, then maybe you could try if for yourself.  In next week’s blog I’ll be giving you some simple tips to start changing your mindset and feeling more positive. If you would like some help, join me for the free webinar on How to Have a Positive Mindset by registering below. I’ll give you some simple steps to start changing your mindset. and I’ll also tell you about the ‘7 Day Positive Thinking Challenge’, where I’ll help you take those steps with a daily video sent direct to you, with even more ways to flip the negative thinking so that positive thinking becomes easy.

You can begin the ‘7 Day Positive Thinking Challenge’ right now for only £7 by clicking here.

If you missed the webinar on How to Have a Positive Mindset, you can watch the replay video here https://youtu.be/zGoTYs2TEI0

Guess what? It doesn’t matter!

As the end of January approaches, most new year resolutions have already been forgotten or abandoned, and those goals you set yourself a few weeks ago may not be working out quite as you planned. It’s important to remember a few things at this point.

This is not a good reason to give up

Just because things aren’t going to plan, it’s not a reason to give up on your plans or ideas. If you read the article or watched the webinar on goal setting, you might remember the importance of having a flexible plan. Sometimes ideas have to be tested to see what works, sometimes other things in life divert us from our path. But it’s okay. Would you give up your holiday because of a delayed flight? Would you abandon a journey just because there are roadworks on the route? No of course not. You either accept that there’s a delay or you find another way to get there. Apply the same principles to your goals.

Beating yourself up doesn’t get you anywhere

If your confidence in yourself was already wavering, then failing to achieve things you set out to do can be a great reason to berate yourself. But does it help? Of course not. If you promised yourself you would go to the gym three times a week, but so far you’ve only been once, giving yourself a hard time about it won’t help you acheive the fitness goals you set for yourself. It will only make you feel bad about yourself and you’ll probably give up completely. Instead, try looking at the real reason you didn’t stick to it, and be honest with yourself. Then find a way that works for you.

Look at what you have achieved

If you are only focusing on the things that didn’t work, or that you haven’t done, you’ll overlook the things that have gone well. Celebrate every positive step and don’t dwell on the things that haven’t worked out. The only benefit to reflecting on what hasn’t gone well is if you use that information to find a new way forward.

Pick yourself up and start again

Remember you can start from wherever you are. If that’s not where you expected to be, it doesn’t matter. Looking back, judging your current circumstances or how you got here, none of this is useful. Build you resilience by reminding yourself it doesn’t matter if things don’t work out, you just pick yourself up and start agin from where you are now. A baby learning to walk doesn’t give up no matter how many times he falls down. He doesn’t berate himself for being rubbish at walking, or worry that everyone will be judging him. These are thoughts we learn as we go through life. But those thoughts don’t help you. Accept setbacks as a natural part of the process of trying, and move on.

This reminds me of a lesson I learned from my eldest son. He’s dispraxic and he used to stumble on the stairs a lot due to his lack of co-ordination and long teenage legs. He would tumble down the stairs, land at the bottom, stand up and say ‘ Well, that happened’, and then just carry on walking. I use his phrase a lot when things don’t go to plan, its such a simple way to accept something and just move on.

One final thought. If a goal you set for yourself really isn’t working out or you don’t feel so motivated by it anymore, you do know it’s okay to just change your mind, don’t you?

If you missed the webinar ‘What Happens if You Don’t Achieve Your Goals’, you can watch the replay video here https://youtu.be/8PYr69AL0-4

Do you need to get out of your comfort zone to achieve your goals?

If you’ve set yourself some challenges or goals this year, this might be the point where you’re starting to feel a little unsettled. But that’s good news, it means you are pushing the boundaries and it’s time to get out of your comfort zone.

We set our goals, our motivation is high, but then sometimes doubt starts to creep in. We might lose confidence, or the goals we set seem hard to achieve. Opportunities come along, but we shy away from them if they feel too uncomfortable, instead choosing to remain in our comfort zone and stick with what feels familiar and safe.

We really want these things we’ve planned for ourselves, so why do we get stuck? It might be because your brain is telling you to stay safe and keep inside of your comfort zone. So it’s time to push a little harder at those boundaries.

Our brains are just trying to keep us safe

That hesitation, self-doubt or lack of confidence you feel is just your mind’s way of trying to keep your body safe. Your survival instinct. You’re safe in your comfort zone, your brain is saying don’t take risks, but most likely your heart is calling you to follow your passion. I think it’s always worth remembering this quote at this point.

But why is getting out of your comfort zone so difficult?

There are so many reasons. You might be pushing against everything you’ve been taught about safety, common sense, and acting responsibility. It may be that you don’t feel confident enough to try something new, or you feel too vulnerable, afraid of being judged by others, or scared of failure. All of those thoughts and feelings are your mind’s way of trying to keep you safe. Self-preservation is a strong instinct to overcome. But you can do it.

So how can you get out of your comfort zone?

Well, if you’re feeling brave, you could just dive straight into the unknown and take whatever comes. But if not, and you’re really struggling to leave the safety of your comfort zone, then here are some things to think about.

Has this ever been done by anyone else before?

If so then you know the thing you want to do is possible, and your doubts may be more about yourself and your ability to achieve it. You know the task isn’t impossible, so work on your own confidence, or get support and encouragement. Take one small step at a time, and build your confidence with each step.

It may not be as scary out there as you think

We create stories and pre-conceptions about how we think things will turn out, and often we picture the worse case scenario as our minds try to keep us safe by building our fears. Instead, try to focus on more positive possibilities and outcomes. Which brings me too ..

Be okay with ‘failure’

Things don’t always work out as you might have hoped. The best laid plans don’t always go as expected. Learn to be okay with failure, seeing it as an opportunity to discover that something didn’t work, and a chance to test another idea. The goals we set for ourselves in life are important to us, and we have a huge emotional investment in the things that we want to achieve. It’s painful when things don’t work out, but learning to manage expectations and accepting that sometimes things don’t go to plan, helps build resilience and gives you the strength to get back up and try again.

Every time you try, your comfort zone expands

Each time you take that one step forward, your comfort zone expands. Even if things don’t work out as you hoped, it’s still progress. You tried, you pushed through the barrier, and you survived to tell the tale. Now you can try again from that new starting point.

Be brave enough to be vulnerable

Being okay with vulnerability will make it easier to push the limits of your comfort zone. Accept that sometimes you need to allow yourself to feel exposed and vulnerable in order to take that next step.

Don’t get trapped in someone else’s comfort zone

When you’re trying something new, try not to let other people’s opinions affect you. Remember that people might think you’re crazy or just not understand, but this is because what you’re doing is outside of their comfort zone, or doesn’t fit the stories they’ve told themselves for protection. Don’t try to take anyone into the unknown with you if they’re determined to stay in their comfort zone. They’ll join you when they’re ready.

Are you ready to step outside of your comfort zone?

Can you make a commitment to yourself right now to do just one thing that’s outside of your comfort zone? I’d love to know what you decide to do. You could post it in the Facebook group. I love hearing your success stories.

If you missed the webinar on Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone, you can watch the replay video here https://youtu.be/Oj6DYQSTScE
 

Hiding from those tasks won’t make them go away!

Last week we talked about setting our goals for the year ahead, being clear on what we really want, and breaking those goals down into smaller steps so we can start from wherever we are. How’s that going? Have you taken action yet, or are you holding back on some of those steps? If so, this might help you to overcome procrastination.

Whether our goal is something we really want, or there are tasks we need to do that we don’t enjoy, procrastination is a habit that holds us back and gets in the way. So how do you know if you’re procrastinating?

Here are some of the signs:

• Filling your day with unimportant tasks or distractions
• Saying ‘yes’ to other people’s requests so you become too busy
• Waiting for the ‘right time’ or until you’re in the ‘right mood’
• Doing more research. Then more. (Analysis Paralysis)
• Waiting until it’s perfect
• Convincing yourself it’s not important
• Talking a lot about what you will do, but not actually doing it

Recognise any of those? What other great procrastination techniques do you have?

So how do you overcome procrastination?

Well you could start by understanding why you procrastinate. Here are some of the common reasons:

• The task doesn’t interest you
• The thing you want to do feels too difficult
• You’re disorganised or easily distracted
• It seems too overwhelming
• You’re worried about making the wrong choice or making a mistake
• Fear of change
• Perfectionism

Think about the goals or actions where you know that you’re procrastinating. Is it due to one of the above, or something else?

Look next at the tasks or goals you have set for yourself, particularly the ones you’ve been putting off or avoiding. Ask yourself these questions.

• How important is it?
• What are the consequences of not doing it?
• What are the benefits of getting it done?
• Is there a deadline?
• Who else could help?
• Is there a clear plan to get this done?

Once you’ve established what’s really important, and you’ve defined the reason for your procrastination, here are some of the ways to overcome those avoiding or delaying tactics.

Choose the most important – Not just in terms of urgency, but think about the consequences of doing nothing, or the benefits of getting it done. Especially if this a goal you have set yourself to make a positive change in your life.

Get the most difficult task done first – Mark Twain is quoted as saying that if you eat a live frog each morning, you can go through the rest of the day knowing that’s probably the worst thing you will have to do. So if a task feels difficult, but it’s important, get it done first. Eat that frog!

Break it down into small steps – If you’ve seen the webinar or post about goal setting, you’ll know how important this is to achieving the results you want. If a task seems overwhelming, take one tiny step at a time and if it helps you, reward yourself upon completion of each step. Celebrate every success.

Set your own deadlines – If a task doesn’t have a deadline, set your own. A goal or action step without a deadline is likely to keep being delayed in favour of other tasks.

Be accountable – If you’re a procrastinator, or even if it’s just this one thing that’s causing you to delay, being accountable to someone else is a good way of ensuring you get the task done. At work we often have managers who we report to, but in our personal lives who holds us accountable? Working with a coach, or having an accountability buddy to check-in with, is known to help us take action towards our goals.

Work on Your Mindset – Practice thinking positively about your goal or the outcome you will have. Even if that outcome is just that the difficult task will no longer loom over you. Think of how much clearer your mind and time will be once this is done. Get yourself in your best state for taking action, know your deadline, and take that first step.

What works for you to overcome procrastination?

A new year often brings to mind new ideas, new beginnings and the possibility for change.  So what’s in store for you this year? Do you have something specific you’d like to achieve, or are you just going with the flow to see what life brings you?

Most New Year Resolutions are abandoned by the middle of January, so how do you stick to your plans and achieve your goals? How can you create the changes you want in your life this year?

Here are some tips:

Figure out what you really want – Being clear on what you really want is essential to planning your goals. There are several tools and resources you can use for this, including the wheel of life which you’ll see offered as a free download popping up in the corner of my website.  Look at the areas of your life where you want to make changes, and then get really clear on what your ideal situation would be, so you know exactly what you’re heading towards.

Know your ‘Why’ – Even if you know what you want to achieve, have you thought about why you really want it? Sometimes it’s not as obvious as you think. What will it really mean to you when you achieve that goal or make that change? What will your life be like then? Knowing your ‘why’ will keep you motivated if it gets tough.

Be clear about your starting point – Before you begin any journey it’s important to know exactly where you’re starting from in relation to your destination. A map is no use if you don’t know where you are to begin with. So think about where you are now in relation to your goal. This is how you’ll figure out the first steps you’ll need to take to move towards your ideal outcome.

Create a Flexible Plan – So you know where you’re going, you know where you’re starting from, so now all you need to do it figure out the route from A-B. Just like planning a journey, be prepared to change your plans sometimes, and keep focused on your destination. You’ll get there so long as you keep moving towards it.

Take one step at a time – Sometimes your goal might seem too far away or the steps you need to take feel too overwhelming. Break your plan down into simple steps, focus on taking one step at a time and celebrate every success, each step towards your goal. Regularly stop and look back to acknowledge how far you’ve come.

If you missed the webinar on Setting and Achieving Your Goals for the Year Ahead, you can watch the replay here https://youtu.be/Q7xbjOo2ZDc