Guess what? It doesn’t matter!
As the end of January approaches, most new year resolutions have already been forgotten or abandoned, and those goals you set yourself a few weeks ago may not be working out quite as you planned. It’s important to remember a few things at this point.
This is not a good reason to give up
Just because things aren’t going to plan, it’s not a reason to give up on your plans or ideas. If you read the article or watched the webinar on goal setting, you might remember the importance of having a flexible plan. Sometimes ideas have to be tested to see what works, sometimes other things in life divert us from our path. But it’s okay. Would you give up your holiday because of a delayed flight? Would you abandon a journey just because there are roadworks on the route? No of course not. You either accept that there’s a delay or you find another way to get there. Apply the same principles to your goals.
Beating yourself up doesn’t get you anywhere
If your confidence in yourself was already wavering, then failing to achieve things you set out to do can be a great reason to berate yourself. But does it help? Of course not. If you promised yourself you would go to the gym three times a week, but so far you’ve only been once, giving yourself a hard time about it won’t help you acheive the fitness goals you set for yourself. It will only make you feel bad about yourself and you’ll probably give up completely. Instead, try looking at the real reason you didn’t stick to it, and be honest with yourself. Then find a way that works for you.
Look at what you have achieved
If you are only focusing on the things that didn’t work, or that you haven’t done, you’ll overlook the things that have gone well. Celebrate every positive step and don’t dwell on the things that haven’t worked out. The only benefit to reflecting on what hasn’t gone well is if you use that information to find a new way forward.
Pick yourself up and start again
Remember you can start from wherever you are. If that’s not where you expected to be, it doesn’t matter. Looking back, judging your current circumstances or how you got here, none of this is useful. Build you resilience by reminding yourself it doesn’t matter if things don’t work out, you just pick yourself up and start agin from where you are now. A baby learning to walk doesn’t give up no matter how many times he falls down. He doesn’t berate himself for being rubbish at walking, or worry that everyone will be judging him. These are thoughts we learn as we go through life. But those thoughts don’t help you. Accept setbacks as a natural part of the process of trying, and move on.
This reminds me of a lesson I learned from my eldest son. He’s dispraxic and he used to stumble on the stairs a lot due to his lack of co-ordination and long teenage legs. He would tumble down the stairs, land at the bottom, stand up and say ‘ Well, that happened’, and then just carry on walking. I use his phrase a lot when things don’t go to plan, its such a simple way to accept something and just move on.
One final thought. If a goal you set for yourself really isn’t working out or you don’t feel so motivated by it anymore, you do know it’s okay to just change your mind, don’t you?